Is it that time already? That sure went fast…
A discussion I have had with scores of members over the years is regarding when might be the right time to walk away from this rewarding but crazy profession. My thoughts have always pretty much been the same; Get out as soon as you can to preserve whatever sanity you may still possess, and to enjoy the rest of your life without too much looking back.
Most of us readily accepted the fact that we would not become wealthy by toiling in the profession of law enforcement. We knew our reward would be on the back end in the form of a comfortable pension. Even though these benefits are under attack these days, police officers can stand tall. We earn every dime of our pension. Each of us endured a career that takes a tremendous physical, psychological, and emotional toll on us and on our families.
As I reach the end of my own career, the emotions are very different, and much more complicated then I had expected. Depending on one’s financial situation, lifestyle, age of one’s children, one’s goals moving forward, and, especially, one’s ability to let go of the past, many unexpected concerns and emotions can loom over one upon retirement.
I became a police cadet in 1974. For the past 36 years, the SFPD has been a huge part of my life. When you have spent 36 of your 58 years on this earth as a member of the tremendous brother and sisterhood of law enforcement, it inevitably becomes a big part of who you are. At times, I have cursed this job for what it has done to me. But mostly I think it saved the life of a 24-year old immature kid looking for a job that could give him a sense of accomplishment and purpose. For everything this job has done to make me a more cynical, less trusting person, it has compensated me with the best friends I could ever have imagined, and it has given me a sense of loyalty and camaraderie that does not exist on the “outside.” It is humbling to think that in less then a year I will give up my identity as a member of the SFPD and become just another name on a retiree mailing list.
As I watch so many great men and women walk out that door it saddens me greatly that we are losing a generation of officers who have truly left their mark on this department, and this city.
I will never underestimate the value of being from San Francisco and having a true love and admiration for this wonderful city. I guess in the end it will probably be the only city I really care about, and which in many ways led to my involvement in the POA, and a desire to change the perception of police officers in this very strange and unique place. We have done that together as a department, and have created an image in law enforcement that I believe is on the cutting edge. No department is more progressive; no department is better at dealing a very eclectic, complex citizenry; no department is better at handling demonstrations and large events with a combination of firmness and compassion than is the SFPD. I am proud to have been apart of it all. From “White Night,” to the ’89 earthquake, to 9/11, I will never forget the unique experiences I have had as a San Francisco police officer
So, now I find myself wondering about the future. Do I want to continue to work after I retire? If so, should that be full or part time? What about private consulting? Do I have enough money to last Sue and me the rest of our lives? Will I be bored, or can I find new challenges? And, most importantly, can I enjoy life in a world without my “second family,” on whom I have so often relied for friendship and support?
It is difficult to leave, but one senses when it is time to go. As I age, I hear more and more the time ticking away. I will have a treasure trove of stories to tell and a lifetime of friends to enjoy, and in the end all that really matters is that I leave this job with all my body parts in place, my sense of humor intact, and a great pride of accomplishment. While my future is blurred, I intend to embrace its challenges as I savor my memories.
Oh, and first on my “to do” list… get rid of this watch.
